the only thing worse
than bad memories
is no memories at all..
[dismemberment plan]
3.30.2004
Eww, BOYS!!!
I know that lately, the theme of my recent posts have unfortunately come to "Eww! Boys pay too much attention to me! Boo hoo! Some old black man flashed me on the subway! Help, he's touching me!" but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to post another one.
On the way back to my dorm from the library, where I finally finished my midterm in the media room (it took three listens of "Summerteeth"), I got a phone call.
And it was RUBEN.
For those of you who aren't familiar with this person, he is dangerously unintelligent, a stalker/kidnapper, and ridiculously, ridiculously desperate.
He also fights in human-sized rat cages in weird clubs in California.
After months of harassment, i.e.:
him showing up at my house when I wasn't even home,
calling my home/dorm/cell phone no less than a million times a day,
IM'ing me on 7+ bogus screennames,
trying to threaten/blackmail me (with a goofy picture of me with a thong on my head, no less), and finally, um, pretty much
kidnapping me when I was leaving my dorm (he drove for an hour and a half to get me) and refusing to let me leave his place until the next morning,
after all of this shit, he called me from California (he moved back in with his MOM) expecting us to be cool.
"Hey, is Trish there?"
I recognized his voice immediately.
No one else calls me fucking "Trish."
"Hi."
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm coming up there in about four weeks, and I wanted to know if we could get together."
......
I wish I could have torn him apart and just yelled at him or something, or even at least fart in the phone, something, but the best I could do was say,
"Um, I'm going to be in school."
"Oh."
......
"Um, okay."
What a fucking moron.
I have never in my life met anyone as dumb as this motherfucking bitch.
He tried everything, from yelling at me, whining and crying to me, buying me stupid shit, to just pretty much outright stalking me. Before he finally moved back to California, I was seriously fucking afraid to go by my windows because I thought he would be there, in my backyard, staring creepily into my house at me.
Well, anyway, I guess it just goes to show that you can't teach an old dog new tricks -- but you can, however, take him into your backyard and hit him on the butt with an enormous wooden paddle like my neighbors' crazy Cuban grandfather did to their family dog.
I guess the Ruben situation doesn't really apply too well to the "old dog/new tricks" adage, but oh God, what I would do to be the crazy Cuban grandfather who beats him to death with an enormous wooden paddle to the ol' buttcheeks.
[Peek-a-Foo]