the only thing worse
than bad memories
is no memories at all..
[dismemberment plan]
4.06.2006
Well, I Find This Rather Outrageous...
... Yes indeed, I do.
Last month, I wrote a paper for one of my journalism classes. It was about how some potheads will not quit smoking even though there's going to be a ban on smoking in all NYU dorms starting next semester.
And, well, I have this problem where everything I write for my classes makes me sound like a fucking douchebag. So not surprisingly, my paper reeked of suck.
So it was a little embarrassing for me when I arrived at the school newspaper (where I work as a copy editor) and the features editor suddenly told me that my crappy article was going to be printed in the paper the next day.
I heard the managing editor read a few select lines out loud with disgust. She turned to someone next to her and said, "Do you think pot is the 'collegiate odor of apathy'?" "Is that for your column?" "Yeah." (At this point, I said from across the room, "Hey, I wrote that!") "Hmmmm. I like it."
Though it got the approval of that guy, my shitty article certainly wasn't a hit otherwise. It got horrible comments, and apparently, at the newspaper budget meeting, people were talkin' smack about it.
Not only that, but the morning it came out in the NYU paper, the ginormous Gawker.com picked up on it and pretty much pantsed my article, called it a nerd, and punched it in the glasses.
I felt so shitty about this crappy article that I wanted to take a dump on the paper and fling it into my own face.
But the next day, the features editor sent me an email that he received:
---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Ed Shepp Date: Apr 3, 2006 12:45 PM To: features@nyunews.com
Hello.
This is for Patricia. It is in reference to her article about the NYU 'Pot Palace.'
Patricia,
I found your article so engaging that I had to create a recording of it. I hope you enjoy it.
Beep! E
Okay. The recording is funny as fucking shit. I've uploaded it here for the time being, so give it a listen.
The brilliant person who recorded it, Ed Shepp, apparently has a radio show on WFMU 91.1 and plans to air it next Friday sometime between 6-7pm.
How fucking ridiculous is that?
My shitty article was hated universally, featured on Gawker.com, and now has been recorded and will be on a radio show!
I still can't figure out whether I should be mortified, proud, or just incredibly happy that there is a sophomore at NYU (one year behind me) who has the same first and last name as I do, and will probably take the heat for being such a shitty journalist.
Sometimes life is just dandy, isn't it?
*** P.S. By the way, I've applied for my DREAM internship at The Onion, so please everyone...
Pray for Mojo.
Please pray especially hard, because I think I screwed my chances by un-professionally including the word "cunt" in my cover letter.
Stupid, STUPID, STUPID!
Wish me luck!
UPDATE: Since The Onion has showed me zero love since applying (though I will remain patient and hopeful!), I've also sent out annoying emails out to a few more kick ass places.
[Peek-a-Foo]