the only thing worse
than bad memories
is no memories at all..
[dismemberment plan]
10.03.2006
Dumb Fucking Cabbie.
I have never really had a bad cab experience before (with one exception, as told here -- remember Mohammed Crazy?). Steve once told me a horror story about a cabbie fighting another cabbie while screaming "I KILL YOUR FACE!!! I KILL YOUR FACE!!!" and clawing at each other; Colao told me that he got into a cab while drunk, woke up with two men up in the front seat, driving him to a place far away from his home -- they intended to rob him -- so he kicked out the back window, jumped out, and ran away. Yikes.
But most of the time, I love talking with cabbies. Many of them are from a foreign country, much more highly educated than I ever will be, with family across the sea. They're always quite nice, and sometimes tell me that they're glad to have someone to talk to -- that no one really thinks to talk to them, and that it's a lonely job at times.
Well, anyway. I was having a pint of Guinness with my friend up in Kips Bay (around 29th Street on the east side of NY) tonight, and he insisted on putting me in a cab. I protested, since the bus runs regularly, but he hailed a cab, gave the driver a $20, and told him to take me downtown.
"Water and Fulton, please," I said. He smiled in what I took as a friendly way, and immediately turned on his Bluetooth wireless headset and chatted away in a foreign language.
Then, several minutes later, I realized that his meter wasn't on. Christ. I *KNOW* that is not following procedure, and that this guy is trying to pocket the $20 without recording the stop. ASS! (Yes, I do realize that this was my friend's money, not mine. But it's dishonest to pocket it, and plus, I can treat my friend to a pint the next time I see him with that money, y'see.)
"Excuse me, sir, but your meter isn't on."
Immediately, the driver got incredibly defensive. "YOUR FRIEND, HE GIVE ME THE TWENTY TO DRIVE TO YOU DOWNTOWN," he said.
"But he wasn't giving you the whole $20 for the whole ride, it doesn't cost that much!" I replied.
"I AM NOT A BAD MAN! IT IS YOUR FRIEND'S FAULT! HE GIVE ME THE MONEY!"
I told him to give me $10 back for change, roughly the cost of the ride. "NO! I GIVE YOU FIVE!" he said.
"YOU WANT ME TO TURN AROUND AND START THE METER AND THEN COME BACK?" he shouted. "Sure!" I said, cheerfully. "That sounds like a good idea."
I told him that it was his responsibility to turn the fucking meter on and get paid however much the ride costs, not mine. And that I wasn't drunk and I knew what he was trying to do.
The thieving fuck kept yelling at me, so I did what any mature, rational adult would do -- threaten to tattle on him, like a little cowardly cockslap. So I told him I was going to write down his driver ID and call the agency. I loudly read out each number and letter of his ID, and his name as my shaking hand boop-beeped it into my cell phone. Suddenly, $10 was thrust in my face, along with a stream of angry retorts... but by then I was already home.
I expected the cabbie to pull away with the tires squealing, with half of my arm still caught in the door or something, but the only thing that he did was shout, "THIS VERY BAD! I NOT A BAD MAN!" at me and drove away slowly in defeat.
I know cabbies may have it rough, but who doesn't have it fucking rough these days? Stupid dickwad.
[Peek-a-Foo]