the only thing worse
than bad memories
is no memories at all..
[dismemberment plan]
6.07.2006
AWWW, MAN!
So, okay, I'm in College Park, MD with my family right now.
... I'm not sure why, exactly.
I actually don't think any of us know why we're here.
But here we are, eating Spam sushi (the official traveling food of Koreans) out of our icebox in our dimly lit room at the Sheraton.
(But yes, it is fun. My family and I rarely spend any time together, so this is nice. It makes me giddy, even. "Hee-hee.")
The lady at the front desk said they don't carry any brochures in our area, so I convinced my dad to let me get $9.95/day internet so I can look up places to visit while we're here.
So, I got really, really excited when I found out that the National Smithsonian Zoo is in D.C. and has a GIANT PANDA HABITAT exhibit.
Okay -- okay. Wait. Let me just digress here for a moment and talk about how much I love panda bears. Yes, yes, I know it's a very "Asian" thing to do, but my god do I love pandas.
Here's some things on eBay that I've recently bought/bid on, just to give you a bit of an idea of my horrible obsession:
(And yes, in case you're wondering -- that last photo IS of a t-shirt that reads "Children of TOMORROW" depicting a large, predatorial-lookin' panda and a naked child humping a small globe.)
And wow. -- WOW. How about that? I'm even wearing a lil' t-shirt with a panda on it. Like, right now. Can you believe that?
Anyway, yeah. I got really excited about visiting the GIANT PANDA HABITAT (I think it should always be capitalized, always) at the Smithsonian Zoo -- admission is free, by the way -- but I clicked on the link, and found out that, of course, the GIANT PANDA HABITAT is closed for construction until June 23rd.
Scenario: I am covered in sawdust and sweat, and am crouched over a large steel cabinet that I am disassembling with a screwdriver. I wonder why I decided to wear a skirt today. Then I remember I never wear pants after February, kind of how people don't wear white shoes after Labor Day.
My generously mustachio'ed boss, wearing a tight pink polo shirt and crisp white pants (he looked as though he had just come back from sailing the high seas), comes over and says something to the effect of,
"Do these pants look.. do they get all diaper-ish around here?" ::motioning to his admittedly baggy crotch area with both hands, cupped::
I put down the screwdriver, wipe away the sweat, and scrutinize his crotch, saying, "Nope."
They don't look too diaper-ish at all. But those tight white pants were like spandex on his nut sacks. And there they are, dancing around in front of me. I start sweating anew, sawdust mixing into a stew on my face... I am at this point sweating like a Mexican rapist.
My boss walks away, looking mildly uncomfortable. I feel like a moron.
It only occurred to me several days ago (d'oh!) that my dad's birthday falls on the dreaded date of 6/6/6 this year.
Happy birthday, Dad!
My super religious mom is going to have a field day with this.
...
And yes, my internships have been keeping me pretty busy for the past several weeks. I'm hoping to post a "Guess which internship!" game in the next few days, wherein I recount a few memorable incidents and you, the reader, guess which at which internship it happened.
Also, for some unknown reason, my family and I are taking a roadtrip down to Washington D.C. from Wednesday to Friday, so I probably won't have internet access for a while. Not that it matters, because I've been so fucking busy, I haven't been able to write here anyway.
I've also been throwing the idea of starting a site apart from this one. I stupidly listed my URL on my resume, so all of my potential employers pretty much have access to all of my embarrassing posts from 2001 and on. And I have a ton of more potentially embarrassing posts I want to make, but don't want just anyone to be able to see.
So, um, if you'd be interested in that shit, let me know. Email me.
So keep on trucking, or whatever, I guess. Fuck, I hate roadtrips.
[Peek-a-Foo]
